Hair shields

On the last few days of 2013, I cut my hair that sat comfortably at my belly button. Mostly everyone was against it, a popular reaction I received were, "WHAT, WHY?" I didn't have a reason to, I just wanted to. My long hair had become a part of a symbol of me, not who I *actually* was or even accounted remotely for the stuff that matters. I always wanted to just be okay with myself and not have to hide behind anything and over the years the layers of insecurities have begun to peel off, but, alas, a new layer formed and that was in the form of long hair. I know this all sounds very silly, it is. It's shallow, vain, and most importantly pointless. Vanity does strange things to us as humans. But, the idea of so easily cutting off a part of you that participates in active vanity seemed to be extremely empowering. The reactions from people seemed to make me want to cut it even more, especially when people would ask what my boyfriend thought about it, as if that was something that matters (I am saying this in the manner of my appearance, this goes for both genders, no one should dictate how you should look, ever). Anyway, these reasons made my rebellious raging 15 year old feminist self come out again. I said, "fuck it" and chopped off over half my hair length, I could hardly pull it into bun without hairs flying out.

Now, I can't lie and say, "yeah it was great, I LOVED it". It was okay, the cut was cute and I had to get used to it, I probably would have liked it a little bit longer and all that bull shit one could spew. But, honestly, it was invigorating and at the same time humbling. I realized how many people didn't even notice that I had cut my hair. It was a huge, "you are not the center of the universe" moment. However, it was kind of a great thing to experience. It kind of forced a lot of mind made insecurities to vanish because it really did solidify that no one gives a fuck about you (I mean, obviously someone loves you, but not the general public... ahem. this did not make my statement stronger, I'm sure people like you. You are great). Anyway... The point of this post is kind of becoming blurred because I am starting to have technological conversations with myself in a third person voice, so let's stem back into a point....

The whole point was, if you love something, let it go. Try to redefine your perfectly constructed mold of self. Most importantly, if you find a shallow vein running through you that forces you to rely on something like hair, makeup, or clothes. Just let it go. Try to just realize that that is not a representation of who you are, nor do many people even notice that kind of stuff because they are too busy thinking of how they look or are acting.  Also, my hair has grown like 2 1/2 inches in about two and a half months meaning short hair forever is not going to be a thing. But cutting it again will probably happen sooner rather than later...

Head banging....