Devon's Birthday

I met Devon in my sixth grade class. All of her friends were in different classes and I had come from a different elementary school where I knew no one. Devon took a different approach than myself, she put herself out there. Like, really did. She answered all the questions and was outgoing and enthusiastic. I didn't care for her because, well, she talked too much and I just wanted to get my work done. I guess that was a bit snobbish of me, but you know, 11 year olds.... As time progressed, she quickly became my best friend. Through everything, she still is. Often times we will start to call someone family after this, and she is. But I don't think I could refer to her as a sister because she is my best friend, she taught me something only someone outside my family could teach me. I know, as a family-centric person that I sound like I'm contradicting myself, but we need those people outside of our blood to understand us for who we are, and are becoming.

Honestly, talking about how much Devon means to me makes me cry. I cry because I am so grateful. I have had a lot of people walk in my life and then right out. People who used the term best friend with me, but then moved along. I don't have many friends in my life and I'm not good at making friends. I am still extremely shy and I don't know what to say in a group of new people, I stay to myself. Not because I don't like them, it's genuinely because I don't know what to talk about, I don't know what to do. So, I observe and I smile. I get by in social situations because of that, but when I am able to form a relationship with someone, I truly give it my heart. Friends are hard to find.

There are so many things I've learned from Devon and I don't think she'll ever know or let me credit her for. She is such a strong lady, but the way she softens when she loves you is something that has taught me a few things in this world. She is not too proud, she will offer her hand and apologize if she feels like she was in the wrong, she will always, always, always put you in front of her. She is someone that deserves the purest type of love because that's how she loves. Nana used to call Devon her best friend, she just naturally loved her. My whole family does. There is a light about her and it is something that masses respond to. She is always everyone's favorite. It falls into that category of not trying to be anything but herself and just plain intelligent.

If I sit and think about half of the things that were hard for me to go through in my life, I think about how every time the first person I told was Devon. How I crumbled the moment I heard her voice or saw her face. I remember her walking up my driveway the night Nana died and was trembling when she hugged me and I told her what happened. She handed me a CD and said she just had to see me. The next day she made a huge meal of her famous macaroni and cheese with homemade sriracha garlic bread for my family. She came at her memorial, she was the voice that calmed me with Joshua. She pushed me to Ali, she told me to not give up. The things that mattered most to me were spent with Devon by my side.

I don't know if people will ever see the lady the way I do. I don't know if she'll let people radiate in her light, but what I do know is that it is a privilege to have had her shed some on me. I am sitting here choked up with tears in my eyes because I feel like it's hard to use words when someone has truly loved you with the purest of love. But, 25 sun rotations to the strongest, most beautiful, genuine lady I have ever met, I am thankful. I love you, Devi-Doo. You make my life and you have made me stronger. I hope some of you has rubbed off on me. Badass.