Balancing Act

Forever anti-social. Lunch in my car + trying not to take a nap. Creep life.

My quest for balance will be something I shall seek for the rest of my life. Last week, I was so physically exhausted from going to work, cooking, and hanging out with friends after work; that I spent this week chilling and doing nothing. Zero percent. From that, I felt as if I chilled too much. What the heck. But honestly, there are things that cycle my thoughts constantly in moments of "chilling." Mostly, "you should be working out" "you should be researching grad programs" etc. etc. Is this the cons of adulthood?

I still deny any association with being an adult, I just say I'm going through the motions. What stage is denial again? It's fine. I'm just trying to stay authentic to myself and do things I've always found made me feel mentally clear. Writing has always helped, so has yoga. As someone who isn't verbally expressive, stuff like that has become my sanctuary. They are ways I release things without having to blurt it out to the world, rather, let the universe know, "Help. I'm hurting and I don't know what to do. How can I be better to feel better?"

As time ticks, I feel as though I am becoming more comfortable in my skin, but I still wander within that realm of where I belong for my ultimate purpose in this life. How can I make it my living? I often feel as though my realm has always lied in the bounds of compassion. However, I don't think I am going to go off and have a spiritual yogi retreat or become a nun. Where do compassion and creativity collide? I can't wait to find out, because I am optimistic that I'll find it. Someday may not be soon, but I do have hope.