4.25.16

There have been so many changes recently, so much drama in the family and just general adjustments to so many facets of my life. I haven't felt like writing, and I don't intend on really writing about it because my heart has felt so burdened in such a small span of time that I simply want to rest.

I will however say that from the things that have fatigued my spirit for a while have also enlightened a part of my life I have left behind for a while. Health. I've recently experienced and seen first hand the type of health issues that will very well effect me in my later life and if that's not a reality check- I don't know what is. When I began a plant based diet 6 years ago, I got into understanding how food and health correlate, I think I exemplified a healthy way of living for some years and as things do in life, they kinda fade away and then fade back in. Well, health is fading back in, and I hope I don't let it fade out like that again... I'd like to say that working an office job ruined me.. I'm back to running around for hours a day and I feel so good again. Less anxiety, more happiness, less stress. Anyway, through all these words, my main point is that I got a gym membership.

I know, what the fuck. But in all seriousness, it was necessary and paying money is motivation for me to go (broke girl life, ukno?) Now I could be one of those people (I mean I was one of these people like a couple months ago) who says things like, "I prefer to be outside to exercise.. I don't need a gym" Sure, it'd be great to spend 5 days a week doing my weekly cardio amongst the trees. But honestly, I'm not that motivated, maybe I will be one day, but now, I'm not. And that very reason was why my fitness was plummeting. I had this romanticized idea that I'd get enough cardio in my life by hikes and nature walks- it was honestly just unrealistic for me. Sure, once or twice a week I can delve into nature, but that's just not enough for an entire week of fitness. Plus, I live in southern California and I'm an absolute baby when it comes to the heat. If it's too hot, I will not want to go on that 4 mile hike, no way, are you fucking kidding me? Like, why would I do that to myself? So, I've succumbed to air conditioning and listening to girl talk pandora while I bike and run miles for an hour a day to make my booty pop without me doing anything, uknowutimsaying?

Also, Ali has a pass so this is a new "thing" in our life. So. Couple things.
Anyway, I have a meowing cat on my lap and my body is yelling at me to just chill out, so I think that my ramblings are becoming non-sensical. But everything is good. I'm trying to just always focus on the positive because what else is there, really?