The quest for independence

I am at that age where independence is something that is yearned and something that I am actively seeking. For the most part, mentally, I am independent. But, there is always that issue of finance, which keeps you from feeling free of attachments and dependence. I've hit that wall. As you would guess, the end of my college life is coming near and that means "what do I do now?" Grad school is and will always be an option, but I refuse to jump into grad school without finding my niche first. That just seems like a waste of money.

I often wonder how people figure out what to do with their lives. Is it just a survival tactic? I want to do something I am passionate about, and I'm sure that is a common theme to the fresh faced students of the world. However, I don't even know where to begin. See, the thing is I love documenting the beauty of life. I love encouraging people to grow. Above all, I love making people feel like special, unique individuals. There is nothing that makes me feel happier when someone is able to feel loved and that I was the person to bring them that type of feeling. That's what I enjoy and that is what brings fulfillment into my life. I feel as though a conventional job won't do that, I mean, optimistically, yes, of course you can do something similar to that. In your everyday you can make someone feel special. The thought of sitting at a desk job the rest of my life seems so unbelievably suffocating.

I feel as if I am being too difficult and too picky. Then I think, wait. Is this a product of my culture? Society telling you to not go for what you feel will make you happy? Our world, well specifically the region in which I live values superficiality more than I care to say. Yet, is this because my dreaming tendencies are swaying me away from the conventional? Or is it that I have yet to be slapped in the face with reality? I'm not sure where or what I am doing in my life. I want to be happy and I want to be able to live freely on my own. However, the quest of comfortable independence seems so far-fetched in my current state of mind. What makes us move forward, what pushes us back?