A thought on: Being Alone

This morning I was at the car wash. I met up with my mom and soon after she left because her car was done before mine. I had some time to myself, to be alone with myself. I know that we are typically alone with ourselves all the time, but, situations in which you were with someone and you are forced to be alone when you were originally accustomed to being with someone is a really interesting experience.

It reminds me of the first few days I was in Portland by myself. One of my dearest friends, Aly, helped me pick up and move. She was with me for about a week of me living there before she went back to her life. I remember walking back to my apartment from taking her to the MAX stop, it was a weird feeling. I noticed things more. My senses seemed renewed. I know it's a weird thing to say, but being alone helps me assess my situations. For instance, in Portland, although scared to be finally left on my own, I was empowered and invigorated by what the future held for me. This morning at the car wash, I was angry and felt injustice for people's behavior (a feeling I have become quite familiar with since living in Orange County). Regardless, I have spent a lot of time alone recently. Mostly because I have felt a comfort in it. I had a time in my life where I wanted to spend it with people constantly, but, my personality is not one that can be spent out much. I need large amounts of time alone to feel like myself. Anyway, the fear of being alone that I once had when I was a kid is now a feeling I own up to and love. Surprisingly.