I have blogged since I was 12. It started on melodramatic, it shifted to livejournal, floated onto blogger and scattered across tumblr. I can't tell you why I've always been drawn to being so open, when in reality, I am such a private person. It all comes down to the love of words, memories, and simple documentation. There is such a charm to be able to find yourself a year ago in words, though mostly embarrassing-- surprisingly it becomes the truest way of finding yourself again. I've hit an age where I thought I'd be more adult, I thought I'd be more "found", yet I'm still seeking and I'm trying to remember the youthful quirks that shaped me into this 25 year old version of myself. I thought that a proper introduction should take place since I decided to do a makeover on this and because as time progresses I'll surely be curious how I viewed myself at this time in my life.
My name is Eela, my mom figured out the spelling because she didn't want people to mess it up and she thought that "Eeyore" was a great example of why one should rock the double "e". Since we're on the topic of names, mine is an ancient Persian name- supposedly (I say this because I undoubtedly hear mixed ideas about this part) Eela was a princess in an ancient tale- she represented what a strong powerful woman was (my mom always told me, my name meant strong woman- you see where I get confused...) Anyway, I'm a mix of a lot of things, my dad is Persian... but probably more than that because his mother spoke Turkish to him, and my mom is convinced my dad is a mixed (my brother received an ancestry DNA test for christmas, so soon we will know if we're as mutty as we think we are), my mom is Mexican... well, mostly. Her dad was black and mexican- and my nana, her mom, is mexican with more Spanish than native in her-- my mom took an ancestry test, she's a big mix of spanish, portuguese, african and native american. SO, there's the plain logistics of me as a human basically all the things that I can't control that make me up.
As for the things I can control... I have always wanted to be a writer, that was my first true passion in life, I used to "write" loops over and over and over on pieces of paper as my stories when I was kid. I didn't know how to write, but I knew I had a lot of stories to tell (I had three imaginary friends, reasons I have issues in REAL social settings). I've had my heart broken twice. Not by some wanderlust romance- rather, I met death for the first time when I was 20, and again when I was 22. My heart is still gaping and I still find myself weeping for my nana. She raised me. I spent 22 beautiful years with her literally always in the next room over. I spent so much of my free time with her and I think I owe her all my creativity and wit. At 89, she was still sharper than people I met in school. I am unbelievably in love with people in my life and I often will write my heart out about them because I can't possibly contain it. I am a very lucky person and I never want to forget it or let it go unnoticed- I want to always remain grateful for the things I do not deserve. My 2016 goals are to embrace the similarities, rather than the differences and to fade back into creativity (I don't know a better way other than writing).
Anyway, I'm sure you can assume, I write lengthy posts and most are my stream of consciousness. I feel like I'm coming back home. This was long overdue.
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